TheBigUpshot

Since Peter is still lazing in Germany, we, here are going to discuss duck penises. Don’t question my Judgment! The publication of the discovery of the longest penis in the bird kingdom is worth noting. In the popular press article covering the discovery, Dr Raoul Mulder from the University of Melbourne is quoted as saying “I’m not fond of the ‘nudge nudge, wink wink’ comments by the authors.”

I beg to differ. If the your scientific legacy is the discovery of the single longest penis in the avian world, most of which is penis free, then I would suggest some nudging and winking is called for. Just to be clear, we’re talking about a 42 cm (17 inch) wang on a duck that is, itself, no longer than 15 inches.

Peter appraised me not too long ago about an interesting lab conversation in which the following question was discussed: if child-rearing responsibilities were not biologically biased to one gender ot the other, would the existance of a penetrative sexual pattern result in a dominant/submissive behavior pattern elsewhere in the species’ behavior? Yes, that is how he phrased it. All hoity-toity like that.

Well, it seems that the bird family has good examples of this: birds exist with and without “penetrative sexual organs,” and lay eggs. Compare ducks to chickens. Chickens mate using the “cloacal kiss.” It’s not as romantic as it sounds. Just as when humans kiss, they form a continuous tube from one rectum to the other, when birds mate, they form a continuous tube from one beak to the other. No penetration. But there’s still dominance. Hence the phrase ‘cock of the walk.’ Ducks, who have the penetratative dynamic, still leave the female to care for the eggs.

So, evidently, penetration is not a necessary condition for dominance. I’m sure that’s good news for somebody.

-The Jester

Tags: Humor, Science //